Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
