that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
