Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
