Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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