I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
