my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
