Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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