I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
