Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize