I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
