She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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