just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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