Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
