I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
