I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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