I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
