I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
