after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
there is glitter all over my balls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
