It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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