I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
