one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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