Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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