she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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