I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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