I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize