anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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