One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
