Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
