I'm drive I can fine osifer
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
