the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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