Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
