We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
