i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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