I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
