I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
