please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
