I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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