Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my sisters under your porch take her home
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
