I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
