to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
