I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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