Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
