I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The best revenge is premature balding
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
