Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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