it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
