Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
