You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
