so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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