You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
