Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
