For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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