that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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