yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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