It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
