I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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