If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
