he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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