i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
