We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
