i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
