So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
