i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
