Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
