careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
