i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
