when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
