She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
